I Got a Name

Like most of you, I actually have several names.  To those who know me best, who profess to like me, I'm Deb.  To most of the folks at The Store I'm Deborah.  To my often-mortified sons I'm Mo-o-Ther (exclamation point and rolling eyes optional).

And, like most of you I have several distinct personalities living in my (wish-it-were) small frame.  Predominantly there's the inner brat.  You've all met her.  She was easy to name; she's obviously Patty, and couldn't have been anyone else.

Recently at girls' group we were discussing possible names for this other person, the person I want to be and want everyone to think I am.  Someone suggested Esther.  So Esther it was, for the moment, but Esther didn't stick.  I want this person to be strong.  Strong of will, strong of back, strong of conviction.  I want her brisk and efficient, no-nonsense, and laser-focused.  Esther has too much softness.  Softness is good, but that has another name; it has no place in the person I'm currently cultivating.

I thought about Constance, which is very close but not quite just it.  You see, this person has a name already; I just needed to find it so that I can harness her power in my outer life.  And I have found it.  I got a name, and that name is Constantine.

This week I have thought about and spoken to Constantine quite a bit, and have seen good things beginning to develop.  Constantine wrote half a dozen cards of encouragement, and actually stamped them and put them in the post while Patty sulked and complained.  Constantine made bread three time, while Patty trailed her fingers in the butter and whined about achy feet.  Patty has earmarked five pairs of shoes on deep discount at The Store; Constantine is sniffing in derision and mentally counting the unworn shoes Patty already has.  Constantine does not always win, but she always makes things a bit harder for Patty.  When Patty does get her way it is always with Constantine's aquiescence.  Constantine may not be soft but she does understand that Patty must be allowed some limited freedom or eventually she will break out, and at such time we will all face major payback; Patty gives little grace.

So we have the yin and yang, the black and white, the back and forth of Patty and Constantine.  Is there anyone else?  Of course, but two microphones is all I can handle just now.  Once I get these two balanced we'll bring in some other voices.  Any suggestions?